Cosmic Gardener – Cultivating a Life

I have come to believe that the best foundation for anything we do in life is one whose cornerstone reflects our core values, which naturally align with our interests. Choosing the right cornerstone for our foundation can help us manage the inevitable wobble.

I have come to believe that both integrity and patience are core cosmic values and that we are rewarded or challenged by the degree of respect with which we attend them.

While visiting colleagues’ tastefully appointed offices recently I was most taken by an empty room. Situated in the corner of an otherwise full and defined space it looks out onto unlimited city vistas. I was immediately struck that such emptiness was full of possibility.

Topping off the mind bending effect of the room was an ornate light feature not at all aligned with the rest of the décor on the floor. It was busy and twisted like Medusa, known in mythology to turn everything she looks at to stone. The overall effect seemed a poetic juxtaposition between rigid ideas and boundless opportunity.

It made me think how often we allow ourselves to be frozen by fear from what others might think of our actions, their Medusa judgment. And how seldom we allow ourselves the indulgence of creative abandon. Which begs the question, are we willing to be broken open to the possibility of infinite potential? In every aspect of our lives?

The Void is not empty.

The Possibility Corner

A friend gave me a bookmark with the word Serenity written on it to remind me that peace is a choice. Actually she was looking for one that said Peace and serenity was the closest alternative she could find. I keep it propped up on an eye-level shelf in a part of the house that I frequent often.

I have been saying the Serenity Prayer a lot lately; to my self, in conversation, and hearing it out of the mouths of others. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Maya Angelou framed the same thought in a more straightforward manner, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.”

Attitude is a choice. Peace is an attitude.

It is what it is, a saying that has become common vernacular. Bandied about by some it is often a way to discount, dismiss or even deny the reality of a situation.

A more engaged way to voice the thought (It is what it is) is as an invitation to deal with what is at hand and has our attention. A mantra of sorts to motivate us to be accountable, and to take responsibility for our thoughts and our actions, even if we do nothing.

It Is What It Is. No Matter What IT Is.

For Hindus death is not the opposite of life; it is, rather, the opposite of birth. Buddhists say to have a good death, have a good life.

Dying is a part of living. To live with dying is to have control over your experience of it.

The more I know, the more I know I don’t know. The good thing about that is the excitement and challenge that comes with knowing that there is still so much more to know.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about societal concepts and stereotypes about “older.” It seems to me that one’s stage in life rather than age is a more apt frame with which to view behavior and to better understand ones motivations and priorities.

Chronology, nor any other external identifier alone ought to primarily inform our judgment about others. This perspective of course suggests the possibility of widening our lenses beyond all isms.

Everyone comes into our life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. We never know the opportunities or challenges that will be present in a connection at initial contact. And we don’t always recognize when a purpose has been fulfilled or a season ended; and even sometimes we fail to notice that someone has been by our side for an especially long time.

In the end it all boils down to relationships. To ask of each, ‘What did I learn?’ is to honor them all.

When we do something that makes a positive difference in the world or in someone’s life, it is not that we were the one that did it that is important, rather THAT we did it.

Some words and phrases captivate my imagination the first time I hear them, catalysts that continue to engage me with each encounter. Monk on the block is one of them.

It comes from a friend for whom I thought it had some deep foundational significance. After asking repeatedly to write about what the phrase meant to him I figured out that it doesn’t really matter. What matters is what it makes me think about and what it means to me.

In my mind a Monk on the Block does not live in isolation and intends

• To be thoughtful, and kind
• To be helpful
• To give wise counsel
• To consider that there is always another way to look at things

To accept the challenges of living such a life, striving to be all these things with all people and in all situations, and at those times when we miss the mark to at least remain steadfast in our intention to be a monk on the block.

The path to finding yourself, knowing yourself, being yourself and sharing yourself* is often bumpy but the commitment to undertake the journey is a valid and worthwhile intention.

If you can’t be yourself –  then why are you here?

* Cosmic Gardener 2/16/2013

In her book, “Not Becoming My Mother” Ruth Reichl relates advice given to her young mother in the 1930s. “You must use your most outstanding characteristics in choosing a career. Idle aptitudes cause restlessness and may detract from success and happiness.”

The antithesis of idle aptitudes may be what Barbara Marx Hubbard calls vocational arousal. Informed by the work of her colleague Abraham Maslow in the 1960s, she suggests that it occurs when you are doing chosen work and take self-rewarding action that is both “intrinsically valuable to your own growth and simultaneously of service to others”.

Most of us have experienced the often debilitating melancholy that accompanies unexpressed gifts, talents and abilities; those times that for whatever reasons our aptitudes lay fallow. Undoubtedly fewer of us are familiar with the ecstasy of vocational arousal. If we expand the concept into a framework of occupational arousal (being in right place with how we spend our time) I think we are more likely to find our bliss.

Being in right place transcends the physical. Finding alignment mentally, emotionally, psychically and spiritually helps us to reach our potential. When we are rightly aligned I believe we are motivated to make the world a better place.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.
Because what the world needs is people who have come  alive”.
~ Howard Thurman

 Be wary of idle aptitudes.

To have a critical eye is generally considered a good attribute. Discerning. Having a keen sense of observation. Not missing much. It can be a blessing or a curse. How you frame what you see defines your experience.

When what you observe doesn’t match your perception of reality (how others “should” look or behave for instance) do you find fault with what you see or do you embrace the consideration that there might be another way to look at things?

When you encounter situations, systems or relationships that seem not to be working do you find fault with what you see or do you draw on your insight to suggest what you consider positive, constructive alternatives?

Using the gift of keen insight to creatively problem solve and facilitate positive constructive change can be a blessing. Allowing a critical eye to lead to negative fault finding can be a curse.

For years a friend has used the phrase “Love is a choice” professionally and as an email signature. Rather than continue to presume I knew, recently I asked her to tell me what that meant to her. She was stumped.

Ever since I have been thinking about what it means to me.

It seems to me that Choice is the dynamic. The fulcrum. More powerful than love. Love is the given. We can choose to accept it, embrace it, share it, be it …or not.

I choose love. It is not always an easy choice.