Cosmic Gardener – Cultivating a Life

Mastery is a personal inner quality not defined by outcome. It is a process having nothing to do with perfection, not (necessarily) measured by accomplishment and transcends the need to control.

Control is motivated by expectations.
Mastery is acceptance.

Control intends to manipulate outcome.
Mastery is reliant on alchemy.

Control is holding on.
Mastery is flow.

Mastery is embracing life on its terms and finding peace of mind.

“It is a good thing to observe Christmas Day. The mere marking of times and seasons, when men agree to stop work and make merry together, is a wise and wholesome custom. But there is a better thing than the observance of Christmas Day, and that is, keeping Christmas.

Are you willing to stoop down and consider the needs and the desire of little children; to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you, and ask yourself whether you love them enough; to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear in their hearts; to try to understand what those who live in the same house with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you; to make a grave for your ugly thoughts and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.”

~Henry Van Dyke

While sitting at a stop light the other day I noticed a small nondescript sticker on the back window of the SUV in front of me. It said, “Wag more. Bark less.” I have not been able to get it out of my mind and like an esoteric kōan I am still pondering its meaning. For now I have distilled its meaning for me as ‘be present and be pleasant.’

Wag More:
Smile more.
Find things to be happy about.
Give thanks.
Practice random acts of kindness.

Bark Less:
Be less cranky, more patient; less judgmental, more accepting.

When my friend Pam turned 70 a couple of years ago she decided to throw herself a big party at the pool where for years she has done aqua aerobics. It is one of her favorite things to do and she invited all her women friends from the myriad communities she populates. Only women. While not everyone that was invited joined in the water fun, such were the chocolate goodies offered that even the water and/or swim suit-averse joined the celebration.

In her own inimitable way Pam made the party bigger than (her) life. She asked everyone to bring food donations for the local Food Bank, toys for Toys N Joy Makers or a check made out to either. And even though men were not included in the event itself she invited the ones she knew to chip in. As testimony to her big heart the event raised more than $700 and filled a couple of barrels with new toys and canned goods.

At this year’s annual 70th birthday bash the tally was
• Four hundred (400 !) pounds of food donations
• $2,300 cash donations, and
• “lots” of toys for kids

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can
change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
~ Margaret Mead

Being aligned with how we occupy ourselves is key to holistic meaningful living. We are most ourselves when we are in right place; when we are in alignment with what occupies us vocationally, avocationally and interpersonally.

Sacred alignment is achieved through a process that involves first identifying those people, things and places that keep us out of balance. Then consciously taking action to balance, neutralize or eliminate them. It is an ongoing process that is neither easy nor for the faint hearted.

When we pay attention and are fully present in the moment we are most open to divine inspiration. In those moments, that part of us that knows all aligns with the great mysterious.

Creative action is the out-breath of inspiration. Action inspired by awareness leads to right occupation.

Balance is a dynamic element often recognized by its absence.  Less a point of stasis, more a conscious shift into a flow of happening. Choosing to be fully present and surf life on its terms we become a human fulcrum.

It occurs to me that in our current society there is little evidence of civility. On the contrary nearly everywhere we turn there seems a scarcity of common decency, even the occasional appearance of blatant disrespect.

On television we see pundits (loudly) over-talking each other; some would call it out shouting.  In traffic, rather than waving someone into the line of traffic more commonly we shake our fists (or worse). At the grocery store we fail to notice that the person standing behind us only has a couple of items and a cranky toddler in tow. What happened to courtesy?

In the struggle to keep up with of our fast-paced society and in our fight to maintain economic stability some have become self-centered, demanding and impatient. Recent headlines about a flight attendant who publicly berated a contentious passenger over the intercom when the plane landed, grabbed a beer from the beverage cart and exited the plane via the emergency evacuation slide speaks volumes to this disquiet.

Out of fear, or perhaps ignorance even more of us have become intolerant of those from unfamiliar cultural backgrounds or with differing political or religious preferences. Our airwaves are filled with bitter and vitriolic rhetoric, and debates over particularly sensitive issues have all too often turned ugly and threatening.

And yet….and yet…if one looks closely there are signs everywhere of a new attitude of community barn-building afoot. An old fashioned sense of grass-roots-give-a-damn is emerging. People of all ages and from all walks of life are stepping forward to use their time, talent and dollars and in their own way are taking action to make the world a better place.

We may be facing the end of the world as we have known it.  Will we choose Civility in order to survive as a society? Or in our current state of incivility will we stand by and watch as it further unravels into armed camps of polarity?

The choice is ours.

A keynoter at a conference I attended spoke of meeting Mahatma Gandhi’s grandson, Ramchandra (Ramu).  He had himself attended a speech by Ramu who invited him to join his table afterwards. As he recounted the experience, he said ‘Before my butt hit the seat Gandhi asked me,’ “What are you doing to make the world a better place?”

I actually don’t remember much else the keynoter said that day. While it was obvious that the encounter had been a profoundly moving experience for him I’m pretty sure it was not his role to motivate us. Regardless, the seeds of Gandhi’s words which had taken root in his psyche sprouted in my heart that day and they have become a perennial crop in my garden.

I ask Gandhi’s question a lot. When I’m making presentations. In a college text I authored. Sometimes of strangers. And of course I badger my friends. Consistently, most folks tend to immediately leap to big picture doing good. And often they are painfully embarrassed to admit they have not actually done anything “Gandhi-ish” to make the world a better place.

As it turns out the hardiest doing good seeds are often tiny little acts of thoughtfulness; random acts of selfless kindness meted out in the most everyday occurrences. My brother, who (quietly) does plenty to make the world a better place, is fond of saying, “Those who do, make a difference.”

The world in is our hands.

Financial security is a primary determinant for most of us when making decisions about major life pursuits. Chief among routine benchmarks are graduation from college, change in marital status and/or an expanding family and change in employment status. It is a good thing to periodically evaluate our financial health and to revisit both short and long range economic plans.

Financial needs are generally very personally defined. Considerations include choices about what to wear, how to get around, where to live and the pursuit of social engagements; toss in debt management and planning for retirement. While online financial planning tools and financial planners abound most of us can at least do some of the basic math ourselves. Identifying how much we actually need to meet routine living expenses provides a good foundation.

We do not, however, live by bread alone. Most of us want to factor in some discretionary want funds. Financial Serenity is achieved when we find that very intimate point of balance between want and need, and in the process choose peace of mind over financial anxiety.

Loss changes us. After we catch our breath reflection offers us an uncommon opportunity to consciously choose our new role absent the presence (present) of our beloved.

• In what ways will I be More Of?
• What will I surrender in the letting go?
• Who will I become as I rise out of the ashes?

In the Big Scheme of things it all boils down to relationship. Giving our precious ones quality attention nourishes them. Keeping them current sustains us.

Being in harmony with our living space and geographic location provides an essential foundation for germination and growth but right place transcends the physical. Finding alignment mentally, emotionally, psychically and spiritually helps us to reach our potential.

A seed needs to be in the right place to flourish.

The world may never have had a greater need for Heroes and Heroines. Not cartoon or video characters or even those extolled in mythology; rather a crop of ordinary garden variety types. Folks willing to explore their inner terrain, courageous enough to navigate the path they discover and motivated to make a positive difference in the world.

All of us have unique gifts and talents. Where they intersect our passion we find our purpose.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”                                ~ Howard Thurman

The ultimate journey is within. If not now, when?

** For more on the Hero’s Journey see Joseph Campbell’s The Hero With a Thousand Faces