Cosmic Gardener – Cultivating a Life

How often have you gone into problem solver mode the minute a friend or colleague begins a rant? What is it about human nature that 1) causes many of us to have an (almost) overwhelming urge to fix things,  2) makes us sure that ours is a good suggestion/solution or 3) think that our advice is welcomed?

When someone has a need to get something off their chest it’s been my experience that they often just want a friendly ear that hears all and judges nothing. Even when the listener sees a “bigger picture” it’s also been my experience that more often than not the person ranting does not want that clarity reflected back – at least at the time.

Because folks seek my opinion problem solver tends to be my default position. A recent conversation with a friend reminded me that when such a situation arises it’s good to ask, ‘Do you just want to vent…or would you like some feedback?

Seeking the jewel in every person and in every circumstance…

A Miner finds the gem in every encounter.

An Alchemist transforms every encounter into riches.

As soon as school was out the year I was eleven I traveled to southern California to stay with the family of my mother’s next younger sister. A teacher, she and her husband (a school principal) and their two daughters (one and two years my junior) were off for the summer. I had never been away from home and the sojourn turned out to be quite an adventure (and another story). The time spent with my new-found cousins was magical and as sure as I was that our time together would never end so also was I convinced that the bonds we forged would transcend the vast geographic and lifestyle distance.

Alas, it was to be forty years before I had a reunion with one of the sisters and boy did we have a lot to catch up on. Family was, of course, a key topic of discussion and at the top of that list was my mother. She had died only a few short years after our adventuresome summer together so I was quite surprised to learn that my cousin had any memories of her. As it turned out, one of them had been formative.

Apparently when my California family took me home at the end of our summer together both families had gone out to breakfast. And my mother ordered pie. Pie for breakfast. That singular eccentric act had so emboldened my cousin that she had gone onto challenge and defy her fair share of conventions and in the process grown a successful life. All the while I never had a clue about that facet of my mother’s personality. The seed of that lesson was destined to take root in my garden, however.

In my late 20s I met Dorothy, a woman of my mother’s generation, who was to become my lifetime mentor/friend/paragon. She embraced life with the belief that all things are possible and some time after the age of 50 founded the Can’t Miss a Thing (CMAT) club. Thereafter I don’t believe she did.

For her 75th birthday she parachuted.

When she was 80 she met the Dalai Lama.

Days before she died at age 91 she had a root beer float for lunch!

While working on some essays I started to think about what I have learned from the women in my life, my sisters. Not so much from what any of them advised or admonished me about, but rather from listening to their stories, and from my own observations about how they have lived their lives and what appear to be their “life lessons.”

The lessons I have learned from these women all seem to be a part of the graduate level course here in Earth School, Developing Human Potential.  I’m glad we’ve been in the same classroom.

From Amy I learned…
Whatever you do, do it with integrity, accountability and fun.

From Betty I learned…
Resilience, and gratitude.

From Celia I learned…
Indulge your Gypsy. Honor your Inner.

From Clara I learned….
Love is a choice.

From Dolores I learned…
Determination.

From Dorothy I learned…
All things are possible. Don’t miss a thing.

From Flora I learned…
Live strong.

From Jo I learned…
Stretch your horizons.

From Pat I learned…
Loyalty, unconditional love and the importance of healthy boundaries

From Patti I learned…
A life lived in fear is a life half lived.

From Rosemary I learned…
I can do this.

From Susana I learned…
Embrace change.

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” ~ Helen Keller

Watch Some Adventurers Parachuting into the World’s Largest Cave